Tales From The Mind of Thomas

“What are you looking for in a relationship?” Ashlie asked. Her question caught Wyatt off guard. “Well, what I’m looking for is…” Wyatt pauses, realizing he does not truly know. His eyes look down and his brow furrowed in deep contemplation. He searches within his heart for the answer. He has never been asked such a question before. Wyatt places his elbows on the table and clasps his hands in front of his chin.

“I, um… I don’t know.” Wyatt admitted, his voice tingled with a vulnerability he seldom let himself show. He thinks back to his previous partners. He concentrates on what he wished each had. In all relationships, a profound sense of dissatisfaction lingered; he was never genuinely happy. He stares down at his plate looking for an answer.

Wyatt looked around the room, looking, searching for what he wants. “I want…” He confessed, not to Ashlie but to himself as he focuses on what he genuinely wants. “I want to be happy with the one I am with. I want to do be vulnerable with them. To cry in front of them without fear of being judge. To have every spare thought I have, to be of them and no one else. I want to do all the cliché cute things couples do in movies. I want to watch RomComs with them, to finally laugh and cry at those movies.”

Wyatt’s desires unfolded passionately with a vigorous heart. “I want to have cute pet names that aren’t just ‘babe’ or ‘honey’ but instead born from inside jokes. I want my partner to be in the moment with me and not worried about the next social media post. I want to be understood, to be seen and heard, and understood in all my complexities. I want to get lost in staring at them. To smile whenever I see them. To be excited to be with them and sad when I’m not. I want them to know me, to know my interests, my likes, my dreams and aspirations, my dislikes.”

Wyatt’s voice softens, his hands clasp together on the table. “I want to be the real me with them and not some cheap façade that I’m not. I want to be happy.” He concludes as his gaze rests on Ashlie, her eyes filled with understanding and warmth. Ashlie reaches out, wrapping her hands on top of Wyatt’s. Her smile offers a warmth of empathy, flooding Wyatt’s heart with a profound sense of ease. Looking into her eyes, he feels a stillness around him, as the as the ambient noise and chatter fades away leaving only Ashlie. His cheeks break as he finally has a reason to smile.